This past week, a few days after losing a great friend from whom I learned so much of what sustains me in life and in work and education, I noticed how many times during a four day ‘training,’ I quoted her, read a poem or cited a resource she had brought to my attention. I don’t know that this touches the grief we who knew her feel, but it does mean that the ripples of her having lived will continue to spread. Now the people in that ‘training,’ have gotten to benefit from her as well. And they carry those quotes, understandings, poems and resources forward to use in their own work and share with other colleagues.
As human beings, we lose people we care about, people we love, rely on, need. We lose opportunities to offer kids for their lives. We lose visions for our students’ futures and visionary programs that open doors. We need to have ways to cope with these losses so we can keep going.
I have found some ways to be strong through grief.
Tell the story of who or what was and imagine a new story that isn’t all loss.
Accept your way of feeling in the face of loss. Don’t judge others’ way.
Experience of loss can be complicated.
A simple hand patting your back or laid gently on your arm is surprisingly comforting.