“I cannot believe she did that. Doesn’t she realize the real consequences for kids?” Oh I love those moments of self righteous indignation as if I’m without fault. So tempting and yet in fact, so risky. When we talk and when we write about issues, it can feel good to preach and judge others harshly without looking at our own parts in the problems. To a point. Sometimes like a bad hangover, there is a discomfort that lingers afterward.
A friend told me about a time he was on a self righteous tear about something serious and then in a moment of horror realized he was as guilty as the rest of his family he had been berating. He saw it again and again after that.
We are all complex. Our issues are complex as are the choices we make.
Beyond the obvious reform/over-testing meme, I have a primary rant (that will go unmentioned here as I’m trying not to be self righteous). I’m noticing each time it comes up, each time I start to rant –I stop myself and look at my own actions, my own integrity, my own ethic.
I’m watching out for those times when I get on my high horse — maybe this is just the ancient wisdom–there really is danger in throwing stones when you live in a glass house.
This discipline provides several benefits. I don’t waste my time and emotion on a conversation that produces nothing but perhaps more frustration. Without the superior judgement that I’m sure is felt by others, I have more chance of finding a way to work with people who might be in positions where it is necessary.
In the end, I think I might be a better person. That is always a good thing when you are an adult around children.