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Safety: Structure, Support, Stubborn

April 6, 2015 / Marjorie Larner / What We Can Do

“A good rider can hear his horse speak to him, a great rider can hear his horse whisper, but a bad rider won’t hear his horse even if it screams at him.” Author Unknown

I am trying to figure out how to support a couple students who can’t seem to find their way to being on  top of their work.

How do I ‘hear’ what these students’ behavior is telling me? They like to pretend to me that they are getting everything under control. What are they really saying? Are there deeper problems that someone needs to help them with? Do they need accommodations or modifications in expectations?

I think of how I learned to ‘hear’ horses through their actions and  reactions. There were some general behaviors you could pretty much read in any horse like  cocking their ears (alert to possible danger) or licking and chewing (comfort). The more subtle and unique behaviors took experience and time spent sensing as well as thinking about them.

With a horse, I knew that conveying genuine safety was essential to getting a glimpse into their perception of risk and its source. With human students who won’t or can’t put their obstacles into words, I strive to provide 3 S’s to build safe base:

Structure: clear concrete steps to organize and complete tasks, deadlines.

Support: checking  in, always giving them a chance to talk, providing specific encouraging feedback.

Stubborn-ness:  never back down on the belief that they can and  will get it together because their potential to succeed cannot go for nothing.

I just don’t believe in failure for my students who are trying. I just can’t.

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