“To be a person is to have a story to tell.” Isak Dinesen
Before we had schools, school boards or departments of education, we had stories, repeated and handed down, to provide life lessons, explain how things came to be, draw us together in a common knowledge and understanding of our community and our lives.
In these times that are difficult for so many of our children and teachers, for so many of us in general, we need to help our children know stories, tell stories, hear stories. John Steinbeck wrote:
We are lonesome animals. We spend all of our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say-and to feel- ‘Yes, that is the way it is, or at least that is the way I feel it.’ You’re not as alone as you thought.
My last thought for tonight is a story. Once in a classroom in a turnaround school, a 7 year old boy in total meltdown, curled up on the floor, crying. This was a common occurrence in that school.
Maya Angelou wrote, “There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.”
He was beyond talking by the time I saw him. His teacher leaned over him talking softly. I got closer and realized she was telling a story of a field trip the class had taken the week before. She said, “Remember how the bus smelled when we got on? We asked the driver if we could open a window.” She continued relating details of the trip, what they did, what they said, what they learned. His crying softened. His body relaxed. When she started to tell about something he had said on the trip, he stopped crying, looked at her and said, “This is how I said it.” Then he took over the rest of the story. He was back in his calm mind and able to use words.
Then he sat up and his teacher asked, “Are you ready to do your math work now?” He nodded, looking down at the rug on which he had been lying. I saw sadness in his eyes, stress in his shoulders. I guessed that he had a story to tell about his meltdown and there wasn’t going to be a time or place for that. No drawing, no writing, no talking with an adult to share his life or his mind and heart that led to melting down on a regular basis in school. If he had told his story from the morning before melting down, would he have been able to prevent that? If they’d had morning meeting, breakfast club, free writes, Council……
Many cultures, religions and classrooms have ritualized opportunities to tell stories because they know this is how we learn, process, discover, connect with each other.
I have found great resources and learning from a couple organizations that provide ritualized ways to share our stories.